Monday, October 22, 2012
It's been too long.
its been so long my header has died and become a yellow frog.
its been more than a year, in fact.
so much happening, i hardly have time to wrap my head around things.
i've been on close to 10 other productions, holding different positions. i've cemented some awesome friendships. i've moved on from some things in my life. i've also seen true colours of some people.
today, mugen died.
today, i also watched season 9 of grey's, and mcsteamy died too.
today, i've just been feeling very lost.
i just need to refocus.
i lost the fire, i lost the bull, i lost the douche.
for the better. i believe.
i've stood up and left the seat, and i've taken that leap of faith, and i've gotten to where i am today.
not to lose it all.
i will be fine.
i will find my way again.
love,
Jane
i'm sorry baby boy. you will be missed. very much. i will miss your curiosity, your silliness, your naughty demeanour, your squishy little self. goodbye, mugen. dusty will be waiting for you at the other end of the rainbow. ♥Labels: i need some skittles.
Friday, August 19, 2011
its been an insane 5 months.
but first things first, my Wedding of the 21st! :D
and so i held my birthday party, wedding style.
...
and got married. :D
i'm married, to my job, my passion, the love of my life.
heeheehee.
much love to the people who turned up, dearest nik and mich who turned up early to help, my dear bridesmaids, and my photogs of the night, drew and myun! :DD
after that, onto production.
IT WAS HELL.
i learnt much on the production, seen loads, and fortunately, made lots of new friends too.
but thats about all i should say about it on cyberspace. HAHA.
life goes on.
ahwells.
i've gotten over the supposed bff.
i think.
i've gotten over the darkness.
i'm sure.
somehow i feel, the stone heart has gotten weaker.
idk.
from not letting anyone/anything in, a knot has since formed.
maybe it was the last experience, maybe its a fear, maybe its all the consequences that i'm afraid of- i don't think i'm prepared to take that step again.
i'm afraid to take the leap of faith, to drop the bomb again.
or maybe, i'm just waiting. ...waiting to feel wanted.
i don't really know.
AHWELLS.
life goes on.
love,
Jane
the choices are yours, you learn to live with them.
Labels: i need some skittles., life's too short for lousy food., photos
Thursday, March 17, 2011
happy pills!
this i need.
yes, again- what does jane do when she's stressed up?
she blogs.
RAHRRRR TOO. MANY. THINGS. HAPPENING.
though i DO ask for it sometimes. :/
SO.
earlier this year i finally fulfilled my dream of being in a wedding gown. HAHA.
Starring as Seraphina in Faithworks' 10th anniversary double-bill,
in Getting Married with Dad Dead Next Room by local playwright, Dora Tan.
:D
i didn't have exactly an easy time, butwells.
all turned out well. :D
then onto ticketing for Pangdemonium's production of Closer.
it was a traumatizing experience i assure ye. i had nightmares about tickets, even AFTER the show had closed. :/
but i learnt alot nonetheless. it was a good learning experience above all i suppose. :)
all that, while having school and assignments to hand in. x.x
i need to stop being so over-achieving.
so there we have it.
3 months flying by, just like that.
mega busy.
though this didn't stop things from getting to me.
1st it was the bff, or supposed bff. of 9 years. 10 this year actually.
then came nat.
i really, REALLY, don't know whats wrong with people. or me maybe.
all these people, who mean so much for me.
i try and try and yet they just DON'T SEE IT.
WHY! >:(
i'm angry, i'm annoyed, i'm mad.
i'm disappointed, i'm pissed off.
but i'm also sad.
i'm lost, i'm hurt, i'm upset.
i feel defeated, given up on, and utterly torn.
why do people like to do this to me.
especially the ones i hold so near and dear. :(((
i thought i was over the supposed-bff.
until everything came bursting out the other day WHY mentioned that he'd asked her for my production with Faithworks.
the very fact that she could answer him, and ignore everything else i've done.
the very fact that i see her so active on fb, and yet seem like a fleeting ghost of the past to her.
the very fact, that i am still so heartbroken over her, and it seems like nothing to her.
the floodgates open and everything gushed out. :(((
i try and try, and yet fail time and again.
i suppose numbing the pain with work IS the only thing i can do now.
so glad i still have the lousy fish, WHY, my darling bimbo queen and charlz to fall back onto.
xoxo,
Jane
i'm not that strong, afterall. < /3
Labels: i need some skittles., I'm. NOT. strong. enough, photos
Saturday, December 25, 2010
why hello there!
hahaha.
SO. 2010 is finally coming to an end.instead of doing a recap of the year like i did last year, i decided that this year, i will do reflections instead. HAHA.i know right. what i was always forced to do in secondary school and i'm actually doing it out of my own accord now. ohwells.2010, as all years, has been a mixture of ups and downs. more downs than ups, unfortunately. but 2010 also brought me a couple of the most amazing people, and some of the best experiences.the girlfriends,
who have always stuck by me.we might've had our differences, our quarrels, our highs and lows.but thankyou, for always being there. you are more than i can wish for. the family,who've always been there when i needed them.thank you for being some of the most amazing people i have.the production people,who have since become good friends.i'm glad for you being more than simply "someone i got to know during a production".the proscenium kids,who piss me off all the time because of your lack of replies and nonsense,but give me hope, with your enthusiasm.you are all worth it. ♥the 809-ers,who have been around nonetheless.for brightening my day/night everytime we meet.and for... for being you, really. :)my dearest young co. kids,my fellow struggling artists,thank you for being there, i love you all. ♥and all the accidental good friends.its been an awesome journey, and i thank you for that. :)you are all the lovely things that have happened to me in 2010. :)in 2010, my career has also seemed to taken flight slightly.not in the direction that i want it to, but close. we'll see where it ends up. im hoping i can steer it in the right direction.in 2010,i hit the big 2.rather intimidating when the birthday was approaching,but now that its over, doesn't seem like a particularly scary thing.in 2010,i lost my best friend of 9 years.in 2010,
i lost my handphone for the 1st time in my life.
then a 2nd followed. T.T
in 2010,i made many new friends.in 2010,i started on my degree.in 2010,i've matured a lot.and wised up a fair bit.i still think i won't ever get married, or have kids.but ohwells.here's to a better 2011.CHEERS EVERYONE!love,JaneWhy worry? If you’ve done the very best you can, worrying won’t make it any better. –Walt Disney
Wednesday, September 01, 2010
SO.
i just realised i haven't really blogged since like, june.
which is. effectively, almost 3 months ago. :X heh.
Stuff i've been up to:
Performance at Alliance Francaise, Match in the Ring, 爱谁来说 (17th-18th July 2010)
It was a mandarin piece, by The Voice productions. had loads of fun. :D
backstage fooling around.
my on-stage family! :D
younger brother brandon, ah pa, ah ma, meifang, and husband zheng jie.
After that wrapped up,
i dived straight into my next production the following week.
Short & Sweet 2010
Mis_er_Second, 伊庙钟先生 (21st-25th July 2010)
Main protaganist mister 伊庙钟 and my stage boss. haha.
i love how this photo totally captures their stage persona(s).
Mist_er_Second, 伊庙钟先生
in the same week, i was also involved in: Project YUM! 's 3rd production,
The Visit (23rd-24th July 2010)
i was, again, the bitter wife. haha. Matilda Blumhard, wife of Alfred Ill.
(L-to-R) Darren, Yewei, ME, Seema, and Prav sitting.
The main protagonists were:
Yewei as the lousy husband Alfred Ill, and Prav the awesome Claire Zachanassian.
Seema was reporter #1 or #2 and Darren was Prav's 5th, 6th and 7th husband. or was it 7th, 8th and 9th. umm. yea anyway. haha.
the little pocket bear that darren had! SUPER CUTE.
i went to prod at it everyday. HEEHEEHEE.
then The Visit ended followed by Mist_er_Second, BUT, it wasn't the end for me yet.
the following week,
i had to open for Short & Sweet's week 4,
The Tent (28th July- 1st August 2010)
this was backstage, with actors from Armistice and Women & Gays.
much love to the people i hung out with backstage! :D
no photos onstage though. heh. :P
so after like, 4 productions back-to-back, i finally had time to breathe. haha.
in that time i caught up with rest, people, and myself.
as well as learnt to do subtitles, which is a real pain,
and catch many shows! :D
i got to watch Boeing Boeing which was awesome, the movie Salt which i thought wasn't as bad as my friends had made it out to be, Hair! which was an event at the Esplanade library involving some of my friends singing, White Soliloquy which didn't quite meet my expectations, December Rains which had FLAWLESS singing (KIT CHAN BABEH!), as well as L'Heure Exquisite which featured one of my friends singing.
then i went back into work.
this time, as Stage Manager! HOW FRIGGIN' AWESOME FUN. hahahahha.
I stage-managed for this film-stage collaboration by Wee Lilin and Jean Tay, called:
Under the Sun
thats my little corner up there! :D
the tags i was running around with. :D :D :D
it was definitely an unforgettable experience. from which i've learnt that, maybe, i don't mind doing stage managing as well! heh.
so all in all, yep, i've been having a rather fulfilling life/year.
i might've been absent from this little space of mine, but i most definitely haven't been for life. ;)
till again!
xoxo,
Jane
The world turned me into a whore. I shall turn the world into a brothel. - Claire Zachanassian
Labels: Jane needs money. and a lot of sleep., life's too short for lousy food., pictures
Thursday, June 24, 2010
exams have officially been over for close to 5 days now.
which means...
SCHOOL'S OUT! :D
for the next month or so at least.
but that doesn't mean i've been slacking off okayyyy. rehearsals are going on non-stop now. im packed almost every night. and this sat i'm gonna be having back-to-back rehearsals from 10-1, then 2-5. bugger. :( ohwells.
but on a happier note, i've finally managed to catch a movie. //JENGJENGJENG!
its been so long since my last. i watched toy story 3 with the cikgu! it was good. lives up to its other 2 prequels.
and i suddenly realise. i haven't actually blogged or updated anything about my birthday this year. GASP.
i like this photo manymany. cause it consists of my favourite people. ♥
and of course, cause i'm happy. :D
my birthday this year was held at aloha changi chalet. not the best of places cause its secluded and warm, but at least its big and windy lah. hah.
my lovely helping hands included of my dearest bimbos B1 and B2, chanel and cat. as well as mich and cm. :)
i wouldn't say it was a true blue blast, but wells. good enough i suppose. at least for now.
and i've learnt its horrible to be hosting a party. having to ensure everyone's having a good time and all. rahr. tiring ttm. but anyhoos. it was an experience. i finally got to fulfill my prom dream (kind of, at least). haha.
ONWARD, 21st!
zomg the truly stressful one.
ohwells.
i'll take things at a time for now. :D
life without the pressure of school is indeed sweet.
love,
Jane
But square-cut or pear-shaped, these rocks don't loose their shape. Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
Labels: life's too short for lousy food., pictures
Thursday, June 17, 2010
This week, or rather, today; has been horrible. terrible. disgusting. :(I definitely only have myself to blame for getting my hopes up but still.-So i didn't get that english play for S&S. its so painful. i should NEVER have let that wall down and gotten so sure of myself. fuck.on top of that. i got ditched for studying in school. why? BECAUSE THE FUCKING RAIN WAS TOO BIG. yes. what the fuck. i know. idk. when you get this kind of shit excuses too many times in a row, its just makes you doubt. even when i don't want to.Not to mention, i already have those 2 problematic plays on hand which i really regret getting involved with because i just feel like abandoning ship right nao. NAO.All this bullshit. and my exams are in 2 days. Just what i needed to score a high distinction. really. thanks a lot. xoxo, JaneThe next time someone tells you to stop living a lie, you tell them to fuck off, because fiction is kind. Labels: i need some skittles., I'm. NOT. strong. enough, Jane needs money. and a lot of sleep.
