Monday, October 31, 2005

okie. pics from my outing with evon and shujuan,den sili are up. i tink shujuan's been waiting for this entry. =)

shujuan at the drawing board~ toys'r'us-

shujuan's masterpiece. x)

MY masterpiece. xD

evon's masterpiece. =)

yuqian- this was by juan. -n0c0mments- (:

lols` shujuan. =)

initially i didnt know what she was trying to do as well.. =/

i still couldnt geddit..

she says is pigu kai hua~~ lols`

she fell in love with the flower. x)

shyshy de flower girl`

she started playing with the toy axe. got sound de. hahas.

the kids nowadays are DARN lucky. so cool sia the toys. hahas-

met up with sili after dat. on the train to bugis~

ges whose hand is whose~ hahas-

we played with the drawing board at bugis as well~ lols`

dats bout it. evon didnt let me post the other pic. =x
love,jane-

building bridge was boring. x( bahhs* waste time onli. xp had breakfast with diot in the morn. lols` =) after lunch,super lethargic. x( boo* trainin. didnt lk MY performance. X[ boohoohoo* but we're getting along fine. dats nice. =) we got locked in the school. hahas- the aunty didnt noe we were still dere. she came back to open the gate for us afterdat. sucha nice aunty. =) im actually not reali in the mood to blog.

love,jane- Sunday, October 30, 2005

went to katong todae. i tink it was ahkhim jiejie. =] she brought her baby over. simply pretty.

shes gonna be sucha chiobu when she grows up. =)

pretty girl. =D shes even prettier when she smiles. =)

i have not made my decision yet* i ges we shall see.. the day dat i find myself hesitating to pass to either perrine,or cheryl,mebbe. den it will be time for me to move on. for me to give up.

the interest is still there,but the passion has died*
jane-

Saturday, October 29, 2005


you know wad? i think this reali reali SUCKS. a lil incident like this. tests our friendship thus much. it has showed me,just how fragile our friendship is. just how..easy it is to break it. i dunno. i reali dont anymore. =(
but i thankmyluckystars for xinyi. =) i realireali might just breakdown without her. i thank everything for her. (: and perhaps.for chan as well. (:
and. thanks SO much to suwei and jinshu,but its settled already. thanks for everything-


purple. yea-

has been thus crappy yesterdae. and im feeling so drained- physically and emotionally. im sorry for having been rude to pancake. i.just wasnt feeling so good. im reali sorry- no,wanting to drop from the team,is NOT a call for sympathy. im not trying to gain sympathy here,its just dat..ive been thinking about it for a real long time already. i cant keep up physically. i cant meet expectations. now,im not even sure if i'l still be able to trust my team-mates. trust. its a magical thing. it can make a person give you everything. but it can also make one not even want to bother you. or wadever- but wells. its this kinda thing dat- once gone,its hard to regain. we may have made up,yes. no doubt about dat. but trust. its gained. not just simply taken or so. i.have no idea. i finally understand why ppl will wanna cut themselves with penknifes and stuffs. numb. dats why. dere aint any feeling anymore-

i feel like breaking down. can i? please?

go see this web. its the soundtrack for corpse bride. listen to "tears to shed". i feel so much lk emily now. x(

jane- Thursday, October 27, 2005


the following bit comes from my diary. its the truth and only the truth. im not trying to seek sympathy or wadever shit. im just blogging for the heck of it- but please heed my advice and leave if you cant take long entries-

I hate my current life. ive always thought myself as. Special. not the so-called normal teens you'll see on the streets. But come to think of it,im just a typical emo teen who hates life. hates herself. hates school. Hates everything. =/
Silently i weep- nobody but myself ever knows about it. Weeping,silently,while walking in the rain. in the toilet. in the bath. on my bed. my tears simply go with the rain,with the tapwater. or end up on the toilet floor,my bed,where it dries up eventually and still,no one knows of my agony. x(

Im writing this that,once again,i might look at it 5-10 years later and laugh at myself for being silly. or maybe..5-10 years later,I wont be here anymore.
this is to mom:
mummy,i know i have always been a naughty girl. ive tried,being a good girl. But. it just simply didnt work. i know ive disappointed you time and again,it is not my will for these to turn out like dat. I too,wanna be lk dum & be a girl you can be proud of. But i cant. I'm sorry mummy. i love you.
this is to dum:
dum,you have been a great sister. i could never ask for more. I'll treasure all the times we've had. the great bonding times at the ps1,at sims and sims2. of cus,not forgetting the times at the piano. I'm sorry for all the quarrels we've ever had. I hope ive been a good sister as well. i love you.
to my dearest sotong pai:
tong,having been in the same class for 2years now,we've been thru ups,and downs. Quarrels and patching up again. youve brought me a great friend,xinyi and of cus,you. (: I appreciate all that youve ever done for me. Thanks so much for being my friend.
huiying. I dont always agree with you,but we got along just fine. Thanks for all your words of encouragement,your lameness,your everything. A heartfelt thanks to you,for being such a great friend.
tang. thanks for all the entertainment these years. (: I used to hate you so at the beginning of sec1. stop being so loud,my dear. (: thanks for being there whenever i needed you. Thanks for everything.
Jolene. i might not agree with you on the take of some things,but you're still my most beloved partner. (: having you around for these 3years,youve been a wonderful friend. (: defenders always. (: hahs- thanks for everything. reali. (:
To my dearest e5 sec4s:
gua2~ youve been great. (: at the very least,being there for me whenever i needed you. to your hse to slack,or for gym. accompanying me to bugis,and wherever else. Your lameness,your suan-ing skills will never be forgotten. =) Thanks for being you-
diot! ths ever-mad fella. talking about everything. esp.those regarding sex. hahs- youve been wonderful. Reali. for being my crap partner where we talked about anything and everything. For accompanying me for studying even when your exams had just passed. Thanks for bringing the stupid pancake & redbean into my life. thanks for everything. Thankyou,for being ZhangJinShu. (:
suwei! hahs- i dont talk much to you,but. thanks for your words of encouragement whenever i was feeling so helpless. Thanks for being so chatty. =) Its nice to have someone to talk to. Thanks,so much.
ponpon! hahas. you'll go back to thailand soon. we'll all miss you. Thank you,for being ever so cute,so blur,so..you. (: Thankyou,for stepping into my life.
To Ongxinyi,my zhutou laoma:
Thanks,SO much,for being my best neo-mate. For being the one to talk about all the ppl we talk about. (: For being there whenever I needed you. For being my glimmer of light whenever i was surrounded by darkness. My gratitude to you is more than words. Thanks for everything. Most importantly,thanks for ever stepping into my life-
To laufun:
Thanks for being my best-est primary sch mate. and for all the gatherings we've had. (: love ya-
To my 3e4 mates:
To evon,thanks for being such a great talking mate. Thanks for being my friend these 3years. Thanks for letting me feel im not alone. Thanks so much.
Shujuan. thanks for being such a nice friend. for your words of encouragement,your cute actions. Thanks for everything.
Qijie. Thankyou so much my fishy friend,for ever stepping into my life-
To Meiyun,Stephanie and Joanne,for being part of my life,i thankyou.
to yanhao,thanks for being such a lamer. hurhurs* and for believing in miracles. (:
to imran,for being who you are. For being monitor for the past year. For letting me bully you. A heartfelt thanks.
to haisf,thanks for being the boy. hahs- and for bringing laughter into my life.
to zhixiang,zhaokai,jsen and saddiq. Thanks to you for ever stepping into my life.
To my 2e1 mates:
Thanks for making 2e1 such a success. =)
To MdmTeo,MissGoh,MissSim
thanks for ever coming into my life. For all your words and gestures of encouragement. A heartfelt thanks to all of you.
To Miss Annie Sim:
Thanks SO much,for making my childhood education such a success.
To my dearest baichi,Sili:
Thanks for being who you are. And for being such a great friend. (:
To Jialing,Kathleen,Shiwen & dawn.
Thankyou all for being who you are. (: my ahma,for all your encouragements. my grandaunty,for being so sweet. my stinkypoo. for being you. Dawn,for letting me know you.
To my tinkywinky,dipsy,po & nono. chingkee,binghua,laufun & jieshen.
For ever being part of my life. For bringing much joy into my life during the primary5 days. and esp.to binghua,for being ever so helpful during gatherings.
To MissSusanSng:
For being who you are. For being such a great person. For ever coming into my life,I thankyou for all of these.
To 6/5 2002:
Thanks for being who you are. Thanks for being such a great class with great personalities. (:
To Benjamin Lok Ke Ming:
Thanks for letting me have my first tast of love. Even if it might be puppy love,thankyou for it.
To 1e1 2003:
For letting my have a first taste of class unity during captain ball games.
To esnb 2005-06
I'm sorry i couldnt make it pass. I'll try. But i cant promise. I'm sorry for letting all of you down. But i thankyou,for ever being one of the most important aspects of my life.

I've still got sosososososo many others to thanks. MrTeo,MrsTng,MrsTan, MdmChong,ruizhen,muying,my family etc. But not now.
................

dats all im giving. but wells. all this was written on the 25th october 2005, 2.40am. i ges it has all changed. but i stand by wad i have said. i thank everyone,for having been part of my life. yes,even ppl lk jeslyn,i thankyou for having been here. letting me have new experiences all the time. im sorry to esnb if i choose to give up. it has been real tough deciding to hold on. but that was cus i had something,or rather,some ppl dat i had faith in. this little incident,shows me i was WRONG. utterly wrong. i'l push on,but no promises.
i dont deny dat,i might haf been thinking about suicide lars. hurhurs* but wells- take it dat im dumb. silly. boliao. or even,as a said,just a emo teen. wadever*
i have nothing much to sae,onli dat,if 2years+ of friendship loses out to a mere mebbe.8mths? of friendship,den i have NOTHING more to sae. by all means,go ahead. im sorry i ever stepped into your life. im sorry i ever appeared. im sorry i am jane chia.

jane-


FARKER. he has been the second idiot this year to let me use this word. comeon lars. wan den just shout my name out loud lars. its CHIA YI WEN JANE if you dont noe. no point pointing here and dere. FARKER. yars. to those interested,it IS chonghwee- so there.

im not in the mood for any icons now.

im sorry to tong for dat insensative piece of shit i gave her.

evon's bdae yesterdae. sch was nothin much. training sucked. id like SO much to scream in jeslyn's face dat ive tried. and dat not being able to complete the blardy run in the desinated time is NOT something dat i want. i hate it as well. so much. thanks to 3ofem' for completing the suicide for us thO- didnt reali feel lk goin for evon's celeb. but wells- was aites. juan.meiyun.eugene and me. dinner at some hawkercentre. went back for bowling. those lame idiots next to us just dont geddit. -_-" had much fun. (: 2nd game was ending. chiu came. yun and juan had to leave. cabbed to tmart. met up with diot.pancake and redbean. pancake left. -_-" slacked dere all the wae. hahs- redbean went home and came back. we had fun plucking hairs. =x hahs- didnt feel lk goin sch. but wells- slept thru 1sthalf of the dae. stomach hurt so much when i got up. recess with juan. library after recess. slept thru. =x sch ended. bus-ed home. lunch. slp-

ok. i shall not talk from now on. i shall not go out. i shall not have anithing to do with anyone. i shall dis-associate myself with anyone and everyone. is dat good enuf?

jane- Wednesday, October 26, 2005


havent had the time to blog. i shall now. but a short one. =) no eye icons todae thO- im not using my account. lazy to find the link. =x so. ikea was rather lame. onli did round 2-3 qns of the dumb ws. -_-" rest of the time was spent EATING. muahahha~ hotdogs. and meatballs. xD with xinyi. tong.tang.lynn and silvia. training totally sucked. im REALI losing everything. x( temasek poly todae was even worse. -_-" onli thing is dat we got loadsa pics. xD i l0ve my dear 3e4 too much to bid farewell. x( its ironic. to think i hated it SO much at the start of the year. x( wells- am gonna have a LONGLONG entry coming up. soon. its from my diary. =) but its not an happy entry. =( ohwells-

+l0tsa lurve+
jane- Monday, October 24, 2005


15 people in your class:
1. hasif
2. imran
3. firdaus
4. cheryl
5. evon
6. qijie
7. shujuan
8. jason
9. yanhao
10. farhanah
11. murni
12. tarah
13. nazrul
14. matthias
15. meiyun

Is 2 your best friend?
narhs-

Who is 9's crush?
i dont reali care- =x

Does 13 stuck up to you?
narhs. -_-"

how do you recognise 15?
robot. hahas-

who does 1 dislike in class?
err. im not sure. =)

does 7 have a bf?
nope. she has a laogong. xD

who is the class joker?
in that list? hrms- class. nazrul perhaps?

Is 12's mother tongue better than yours?
im not sure. hahas-

Is 14 shorter than you?
err. actually im not sure. but i don tink so. =x

Does 10 run faster than you?
NO. =]

Have you ever fall in love with 11?
NO. -_-"

Will you be 4's bf/gf if you have a choice?
shes my ba0bei. xD

What is 3 good in?
hrms- npcc? hehs- =x

Tell me something about 5.
shes a great person. =D

Whats good about 8?
hes super nice to his stead. =)

Is 6 a good catch?
hahas. to fishes. xD

whats funny about 12?
hrms- not sure. =x

Is 1 single?
err. no. =)

Do you favour 3?
NO. =D

love,jane- =) Sunday, October 23, 2005



style? hahs- reminds me of christmas. =x

suddenly im jolted to my senses. the lights at 201. first thought- its cus of the hariraya tingy. den i realised something else. christmas is coming as well. in. round 1-2 months time? this ALSO means. its the end of the year. how fast it has passed. hurhurs* ges im just..slow? in adapting. hurhurs* ive finally come to realise- its the end of the year. school's gonna end in a week's time. my dear 3e4 is gonna part. no matter how much ive hated it. how much ive scolded the ppl in it. how much ive dreaded going to sch cus of the peeps in it. 3e4's gonna part. my sec3 life is gonna end. im not gonna be a sec3 again. im gonna become a sec4. -_-" my o levels are gonna come. 0_0 shuts* x( sigh* ohwells- ive just gotta take it as it comes aint it? -_-" haf been spending my days- watch tv.eat.slp.play com. yesterdae i practised piano. =) hahas- with dum thO- im rather glad im havin all these times with her. =] ohwells. dats about it. im gonna miss my dearest 3e4-iens of 2005 dearly. x(

p.s-thanks SO much to di0t and sw- for speaking up for me. =) love ya loads-

+l0tsa lurve+
jane-


Listen little child, there will come a day
When you will be able, able to say
Never mind the pain, or the aggravation
You know there's a better way,
For you and me to be

Look for a rainbow in every storm
Fly like an angel, heaven sent to me

Goodbye my friend
I know you're gone,
You said you're gone,
But I can still feel you here
It's not the end
Gotta keep it strong
Before the pain turns into fear

So glad we made it,
Time will never change it

Just a little girl, big imagination
Never letting no-one take it away
Went into the world, what a revelation
She found there's a better way for you and me to be

Look for a rainbow in every storm
Find out for certain,
Love's gonna be there for you
You'll always be someone's baby

The times when we would play about
The way we used to scream and shout
We never dreamt you'd go your own sweet way

You know it's time to say goodbye
And don't forget you can rely
You know it's time to say goodbye
And don't forget on me you can rely
I will help, help you on your way
I will be with you every day

this song is dedicated to all the graduating es-netballers. i know the lyrics are not ALL relavant. but wells- some are. =) and i feel.. i dunno. when i heard this song,i thought of them. so,its for them. =]

love,jane-


wtf. blardyhell. goeatshitanddie. SHIThead. sucker. arshole. freakinshit- yes. this is ALL dedicated to HIM. no,not my dad. ch` for dragging me in for nothing. wads with the nonchalant part freako?! X( i reali dont see the need to drag ME into dat post. yes,i noe its HIS blog and HE has the freedom to blog about anithing. to blog ANYTHING he wants to. but im BLARDY pissed. so there-


hahas. cool eh? i dont reali like this one much lars. but wells- =)

suddenly i miss the good old days. the family days. the ones where we used to go to the zoo. hahas. yea. the zoo. birdpark. and even dat time,when we went out at night. to see the ahguas. hahas. yea. those were the days aint it? i miss them SO much. and of cus,not forgetting the fishing trips we had. =) but. not animore. =( she doesnt want to go to places like the zoo. im busy with my stuff. and so is mom. he. doesnt seem to care so much animores. or at least,he doesnt show it in the so-called correct way for me. x( sigh* wad more can i sae. my life's a wreck. i dont feel like going home. i hate school. im losin all my best mates. im missing everything. i dunno- forget it-

love,jane- Saturday, October 22, 2005


yay. america's next top model season..4 i tink. (: ive tried my best to put all of them in order of their vote out lars. buddens. i may haf mixed some up. =x a pity i cant find the photos of them after the hair-makeover thO- =(

sarah. im not too sure about her. didnt reali see much of her. =x

brita. didnt see much of her as well. so i assume shes the 2nd out. =x

noelle. im not too sure lars. about when she was out. but wells-she has a son. a rather cute one indeed. =) but shes short- =x

brandy. i dont like her. attitude prob lk SHIT. xp suckyfreak*

lluvy. i like her. =) she was an ex gang member sia. hahs- but now shes a janitor. =x i tink she looks quite alike jolene thO- =) cus of her eyes and jaw i ges. =]

Rebecca. a dian xing de guaiguai nu. hahas- former flight attendent sia. don playplay* hahs-

another bi*ch. xp don lk her to the CORE. bahhs* suckyshit*

tatiana. dont reali lk her lars. but wells. nuthin so special bout her i ges. =x

michelle. shes a wrestler lars. donplayplay arhs* hahas- they dyed her hair blond during the hair makeover. =] and..she had some skin problems halfway thru the show. but ges shes reali quite a loner? hrms-

christina. the so-called "ice queen" didnt expect her to come so far lars. hahas- but wells. shes quite chio. =] hehs-

brittany. great personality. a lil loud at times thO- hahas- but shes nice. i like her. =) hahas-

keenyah. one of the last 3 left now. i don like her thO- she just keeps goin on about her bein the onli black around. -_-" too narcisstic liaos lars. xp i tink her attitude sucks thO- but. ges shes quite alike elaine. hahas. =x

naima. one of the last 3 as well. shes the one dat leaves deep impressions. cus of..her hair? hahas. shes a ballet dancer thO- so her body language is quite good. =) shes not bad lars. =] saddiq's fave. hahas.

kahlen. needless to sae,one of the last 3. this is reali unexpected lars. didnt expect her to come so far as well? hehs- but her fotos are great lars. =] i see great potential in her* hahas- narhs. shes.the one i root for out of the last 3. xD hahas.

aites. dats it- zao liaos.
love,jane-



rainbow-ed eyeball. hahs- cool eh? =) ive decided. once i finsh with the eye icons,im gonna follow up with the body icons~ xD


BEACH. the hatred for her intensifies everytime i see her. SHITher. f off mans- xp sucker* no,its not sarah. its another beach. nvms-

yay. watched movie with zhutou todae. =) love her LOADS. x) wanted to watch into the blue. but wells. both cs and tm didnt haf. watched flightplan intheend. =) nice show. a rather unexpected ending i ges. x) didnt expect it to turn out liddat in the end lars. hahas- shall not go furthur,don wanna be a spoiler for those goin to watch. (: on the wae dere,no es-ians walking around. surprise,surprise* hahs- but saw jinkeat and qinkoi thO- they didnt see me. (: bused dere. no es-ians around aswell. xD talked loads with zhutou. xDD w0nderful* bought a bottle of greentea before goin it. it cost me $2.50 0_0" im never goin to buy frm there again. -_-" afterthashow- walked around. she got a pair of earstuds. backto tm. walked round. got evon's present. xD got a bracelet. she got a necklace. bought 3pairsofstuds from the bluesummer(i think) shop upstairs. shared them. xD hahs- we love doin that. xD lols` got mo0m0o's present as well. x) bused down to kallang. took so long. x( i would've got there earlier if mom fetched me. but wells- xp niwaes it was the sec1s playin marhs. xp games were aites lar. =) lights off. den dat beach had to talk. -_-" *extra- xp mom fetched me and dum home. (:
im not goin to 4n4 afterall. (: i love this. i promise im gonna be a good girl and study kayys-? xD but doesnt mean not slpin in class. =x
ba0bei,relacs aites? =) youre still my ba0bei. hehs- jiayou jiayous! everyone jiayou jiayous~! xD

btws.this is a great entry. you might wanna go take a look. (: click here.

+l0tsa lurve+
jane- Friday, October 21, 2005


yay. finally. pics of my pretty manicured nails~ x)

this da left hand. with da flowers on my thumb~ (:

this da right hand. with flowers on my 4thfinger~ (:

nails-en-me i dunno why this one turned out so bright lars. hahs- my fingers look rather stubby thO- =(

BITE yoo- xp

me-en-my-thumb hahs-

my 4thfinger- (:

all 10 fingers. (: i had difficulty taking all 10 HOR. i pro rite? xp

pretty nails started to wear off by the..5th day? x( this was taken on sunday. day i had to take em' off. =( not sure wads wrong with the nails on this pic thO- but if i took it,something's wrong. (:

my thumb on righthand. oklars. i admit to peeling some of it off. cus it was already peeling. and it was fun peeling them off. =x hahs-

righthand. see the paint coming off at the corners? yah. =x

i LOVE my pretty nails so. =D
jane- Thursday, October 20, 2005




yea. 4n4 next year. hurhurs* mebbe some might be saved lars. some others.. don haf their photo. and some. wells. im just not sure. =x im wishing the best for all of em'. the whole of 3e4. (:
-no offence to anyone thO- its just..my personal thoughts.-

I WANT 3E4- X[

jane is STILL not happy.



this icon quite "sat" rite? lols` xD

wellwells. onli 17ppl turned up for sch today. rather peaceful. i like my class like this. =] but we were missing meiyun and fishy lars. x( ohyahs. and mebbe zhixiang,hasif and monitor as well. =[ didnt haf pe. checked marksheet. bio-chatted with mrchoo. hahs- his burfdae today. happy birthday mr choo! xD hahas- dnt. aites i ges. was all lookin at the sec4s works. quite nice lars. trainin after sch. she was dere. she wasnt dere. =s 2.4 in 13mins. -_-" i obviously didnt make it lars. foundout from her after dat dat i took round 14.35mins. =/ sprinting. i quite enjoyed it. =) game~! xD all thru. till round.30mins left. did criss-cross. i couldnt focus. REALLY. i could NOT. it sucked SO badly. x( cus of dat stupidfella playin the piano. -_-" and of all instruments. -_-" im allergic* to piano sounds. shitherSOmuch. x'( im feelin SO vulnerable these days. its one of those periods again. those periods of times where i'l wallow in self-pity. tink dat im in depression. and the like. -_-" shitthesetimes. x( sucksSOmuch. mac-ed afterdat. imfeelinleftout. homeiwent.

4n4,here we come. this may sound SO simple. SO relaxed. SO carefree. but its only a front. deep inside,it hurts SO much. x( i REALLY want to graduate the same year as em'. i wanna be able to be at the farewell for secs4s next year. BUT- the one ting i can say is dat,ive NEVER regretted my actions. be it sleeping in classes,ignoring teachers,not doing hw or wadever- i have NOT regretted my actions. mebbe this is just a form of retribution. hurhurs*
i want 3e4 back!!!! x[

jane is not happy- Tuesday, October 18, 2005




today's eye icon shall be-MY eye. it aint nithing special. but wells. toobad if youre not interested. xp

yesterday was HORRIBLE. after the many yays i had that day,yesterdae was full of boos. x( why is dat so? you may ask. plenty of reasons i can give you. =x 1st-results. i failed. horribly. the only 2 subs dat i passed were english and chinese. if i failed even these 2,im better off dead. niwaes,yea. the results. mrs lee seemed so happy we're all gonna join her class next year. hurhurs* i told meiyun. and-i forgot who. mebbe syiddiq or imran. when dhey asked me why i could still smile. i replied simply- whether im smiling or crying,ive failed. and thats a fact. i cant change it no more. thus,i choose to smile and laugh. ok-it wasnt so well phrased lars. but wells. more or less liddat lars. (: yars. dats what i told em'. or at least,dats wad i tout so at that time. =x didnt dare go into pe room. -mr teo was there. =x rest of sch turned out rather boring. dnt-hahs- fun. everyone ended up running out of the classroom. hahs- wells.not all lars. but-MOST. lols` she didnt turn up~ YAY- she accompanied me during lunch. stef was being r u d e- xp attitude sucks. training rawked. as usual. x) yiwen and szeying joined us thO- (: jolene wasnt here. she couldnt be here. game with tha guys was.aites i ges. but ges i'l hafta work on my chemistry with sokpeng. =s stress level rising AGAIN. beep. x( suckssuckssucks* XP bahhhh* tmart afterdat. me.tang.ying- saw mom's student,dat benjamin. and jianzhi,as usual. lols` home alone-they walked the other direction. his attitude sucked. and to think he was the one to teach me bout attitude. -_-" wad a bigfat joke. missed most of topmodel. but nuthinmuch. *lucky* (: comp-ed. he suckssuckssucks* XP apshit- was gettin late. packin for nextday. mom came in. scolded me for slpin late. and den..i just broke down. =x i dunno why. i simply started crying. i always thought dat anyways,i'l still have my family behind me,cheering me on. but.it just doesnt seem so. this time round. everything just collapsed. =/ this.is not a nice feeling. i may seem verymuch carefree.care-less of-most things perhaps,but it aint so. im hurt. when i need the support and im not gettin it. i feel lost. when im left on my own. i do feel upset,sickened by myself,when im being criticized about my dress sense. my sense of touch in the so-called pop songs at places like kbox.my attitude towards somethings or other. i DONT wish to ALWAYS be the EXTRA one. it not by MY will. its just dat-I am like that. i cant help it. i cant change it. please. im begging. please. just accept me for who i am. or simply- DONT invite me. on any of your outings. either dat,or just tell me to shutup,i thankyouverymuch. )': i noe dat you might be simply joking,or being straightforward with your thoughts,anyone of you. i am NOT blaming ANYONE of you. it is just dat,i AM vulnerable as well. no matter how strong i WISH to be,or it APPEARS be,i have my capacity of holding things in. I breakdown as well. there are times where I collapse as well.
today wasnt DAT nice either. cheryl wasnt here. mr.rai joined us for card games. rather cute lars. hurhurs*evon is SO correct. hurhurs* the rest of the day pretty much sucked. many didnt bring tie for assembly. think the amt. of ppl can make more den 4classes. =x shop and save with qijie,evon and juan. i love them so. ((: great fun havin them around. x) went home. he blardyhell screamed again cus i was late for piano. lk,i noe,duh- XP sucker* was round 15-20mins late for music. was-not very good lars. but wells- rained heavily. mom couldnt come pickmeup. she saed she'l drive home and ask him to come fetch me. i decided against it. borrowed umbrella from laoshi. home myself. i SO wish dat i'l fall sick. but i ges-i wont afterall aint it. -_-" thissucks*

this has been a pretty long entry. so there-

+l0tsa lurve+
jane-



random facts-

look at this post (click there) - i was browsing thru my posts just now. i think it kinda rocks. hahs- xp

i passed my abrsm exam!! xDD and my examiner said i have the potential to be a pianist~ nyehahhaha` lols` xD

i had plenty of childhood ambitions. just to name a few-the 1st was tobe a princess. xD dens came model. sadly,i cant be one now. hurhurs* no figure. lols` =x den was all the fame stuffs-singer,actress etc. im still clinging onto singer now? hurhurs* but i doubt i'l make it. lols` the one i held onto for a LONG time was LAWYER. xD to me,it was just-talking and talking until the opposition died. lols` somewhat liddat lars. =p but i sooned realised the high qualifications needed. =/ and with my maths,101% i cant make it. so i more or less didnt think much bout it already- den-tcher. lols` cus i could den scream at the students. but-primary sch tcher lars. lols` recently it was tan(2) pan(4) zhuan(1) jia(1) lols` another job on talking and talking. lols` AND- this job requires TEAMWORK which i love so much. (: hahas- but i do admit its partially cus of dat show lars. hahas. dens the next dat is rather challenging and i tink it rather fun is- either a nurse or doctor [but preferbly doc x) ] at the A&E section of hospitals. xDD so cool lars. lols` until the MOST recent one,its pianist lors. hahas- but i seriously doubt i'l make it lars. lols` =]

im a rather frequent blog-hopper. i go to gua's,shujuan's,yana's,zhenxu's, suwei's,joe-wee's,eunice's,xyndee's and xiaxue's blog almost everytime i come online. lols` its becoming pretty much a norm for me. (: used to include tong's. but she gave up on updating. hurs*

i believe in changing my friendster pictures every now and then. cus i dont like it to be too stagnant. *not meaning any offence thO-*

i have 2 photobucket accounts. xD

i have a yahoo mail account as well. x)

i wish theres someone there for me to talk to when i need him/her to be there. =[

im most willing to be anyone's listening ear when they need it. and i can promise not to divuldge anything. (: cus i understand how it feels to have no one to confide to. x(

i HATE him.

i LOVE my 6/5-iens. my 2e1 mates. and my 3e4 girls. including qijie. x)

i dont reali wish to go to 4n4 next year. nor 4n3. -_-"

dats about it- more when im free-
love,jane- Monday, October 17, 2005


day i went with gua and diot to kbox. x)

diot.and the tv screen. lols` =x

singing ultra passionately~ lols` =x

hahas. it was for the pic lars. x)

taken by di0t- me-en-gua. =D

gua and mayday. xD lols`

chemistry* hahs- (:

me-en-gua -lols`

as usual. zilians. lols` =x

jane- x)

ah guagua~ lols` xp

on the fone with sotong-

she pekchek. lols` starting to cry. hahs- narhs* =x

tha lil boiboi! SOOOO CUTE! xDD

went down to tmart to find sotong. and wells,my cam got hijacked. lols` =x

others next time. gtg koon. xD
+l0tsa lurve+
jane-