Just Dance.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

`hhi es - so im bak again. have writen testimonials from mi ta ppl for v.dae and for cny. haf written for all e frens of chij as well. aniwaes,nort reali feelin ta happi or gud nows. tok bout it later. had new year celeb le lors. den.on fridae,(chu san) had netters reunion dinner. reali kinda du lan dat dae lors. -_-" hais. was lk.wasnt too sure bout e time i ges. den end up i met with eileen first ta buy gua's bdae present wads. end up when we were on our way dere,around 6.30,mr teo called ma hp ta kb. -_-" hais. truly pissed off that day. had a great time wif eileen and jolene before the dinner though. if nort for dat mr teo was already at yunru's house,i probably wouldnt haf turned up at all lors. i mean..go until sho unhappi,wads de point of going.?! hais. wad can i sae. but after dat during e dinner..still ok lars. nort too bad lors. den e next dae had kinda.2e1 reunion dinner? nort sures. went wif ahma.aunty derek.yingchiu.hongning.sili.shawn and homing. toopid homing..we had ta go upstairs ta e lan game place ta drag him down. *sigh* why do these things never go smoothly.. before dat went ta buy rose wif siyun tho. den v.dae.. exchanged roses bought from toys'r'us wif siyun. =) *sorta.onli happi ting in these daes?* i tink im reali goin mad. under all de stress and pressure. i cant take it animore. i d0nch noe how long more i can take it. i d0nch noe how much more i can take. i d0nch noe how long more i can stand it. but tink ive promised myself,im nort gonna gif up as long as im left standing. but when i fall one dae,its reali gonna be the end of me. ='( *sigh* what else haf i to sae. =( life reali seems such hard work to mi these daes. sigh. had anti-smoking programme todae. aft sch lars. had been working hard wif haikal,tryin ta find waes and ways to make e perfect lesson out for e sec 1s. end up we decided to play games instead. yani had all e games planned out.. so,we brought them out ta play games. had 2 games. not good ending. was real real pissed off. walked off jus lk dat. i noe was real irresponsible of mi ta leave haikal and yani dere alone tho. but.could not be bothered already. was on e verge of dying. =X hais. so went bak ta 1n1 ta get ma sch bag. den dey came back ta class. didnt even bother ta talk to them. simply walked off. saw haikal,and i told him.- i dont reali give a damn bout this stupid class already. he asked mi not to behave like this.. my reply? - we've tried to give them proper lessons,plan so hard for them,end up no lesson,we bring them out for games. and this is what we get? - couldnt stand it animore. had tears rolling in my eyes. simply walked off. had ta rush to training. mr teo was there. he was veri unhappy with me,with suwei and with ain for not being there.. *sigh* this is the 2nd time he has gotten pissed off with ne bout e psl thingy. should i quit? but i really simply cant bear all the frens i haf made. i cant bear simply cant.. *she bu de* ='( *sobx* but.what else can i do?!?! reali reali reali sad currently. reali stressed up. sigh. he didnt let me train with them. aniwaes,after that,went ta mac,den e playground near tpjc with sotong. spent alost an hour there i think. den went ta 201 with her agains. walked around. bought something for huiting.. her bdae on e 16th feb. which is todae? yar. den walked her to the bus-stop. came home. mom went out again ta buy me dinner. nuthin much after that. now reali simply feelin dat life is kinda meaningless. i d0nch get it. why mus life be so tough at this point in life? is this a kind of test or something? i d0nch noe.. i reali dont. ive said.-i dont noe how long more i can take it,can stand it,can hold on. but i promise. as long as i am left standing,i shall perservere,try to hold on- but once ive fallen,i cant promise anithing else..
signing off- jane____++*