Just Dance.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

here i am. pitying maiself again. well. wadever. this sucks. thursdae was a rather horrible dae. stomachache thru dha dae. didnt want ta go sch. but. as expected. im still supposed ta go. -_-" lasted till dha chem test. sucked at it. gonna fail it again. >.<>
fridae. rather fun? and wu nai as well. *sigh* had pe. was helpin miss goh with dha ppl for their nafa. 5 stations. den.dnt. slept thru it. most of it. recess. ate den went straight up. stupid gavin had to go and sae we were alreadi released. dhat polka dot had ta add fuel to fire in front of jailani. wadever. not gonna haf recess for next mondae.tuesdae and wednesdae. wadever. this sux. i hate dha yalams of mai class. i hate dhat polka dot. she sux tu high sky. in class. didnt reali care tu bother bout her. im thinkin dhat i'l stardee and score betta if im doin dha studyin maiself. wadever. bio. dhey were tryin ta plae spirit of coin. but wadever. didnt reali care. was feelin real scared. real nervous. i onli needed a shoulder for me tu lean on. after school. saw e5 cumin up. waited for xinyi at dha door. but in de end. she rushed of with silvia. lookin for silvia's fone. went ta e5 ta slack around. dhey started sayin was supposed ta go all dha wae ta stage 6. was so afraid i teared. felt so much lk cryin tho. went ta cca room. went bak down ta dha notice board. found out it was gonna be 5.5 afterall. felt much more relieved. but. whutever. was still jus as scary. was rather restless. was damn afraid. i d0nch noe. was partnerin with tong. halfwae thru. blardy chinese dance had tu barge in. dhen mr teo went ta talk ta e teach ic. he asked for half an hour. but in dha end. dhey still started. and made a fuss of themselves. i hate dha chinese dancers. aniwaes.we went down ta dha parade square. thankiew mr ng and mr tay. for lettin us haf dhat lil space tu us for dhat time. ges i was a lil too nervous. niwaes.wanted ta stay calm all dha wae. apprantly.i failed. wanted ta haf ma besties beside me. side by side. we'll encourage and be dhere for each other. but for some reason.dhey went tu dhe other side. was left with yiting.and mebbe eunice. but dhey were on angela's side. never felt so lonely in mai life. whutever. it finally started. ges i was kinda. too gan jiong? i dunnoe. i jus wanted ta get tu 5.5 and mebbe 6? it all ended. i left them at 5.7. pathetic freak. i dont even noe if dhat was mai best. i mean,could haf sprinted at dha last few times? i dunno. was feelin terrible. physically and emotionally. it sucks. it reali does. knowin dhat youre not even worth a sec 1. worse dhen a sec 1. all of them.had a MINIMUM of stage 6. me? 5.7. you will never noe how bad dhat feels. this feeling sux. it reali does. all i noe how tu do is cry. cry. and cry. nothing else. im sucha pathetic freak. i dunnoe. look.im tearin again. pathetic freak. i dunnoe. i reali d0nch noe. its lk. dha betta dhey treat me.dhe more i feel i owe them. i noe its actually all up tu me. its all bout me. i dont reali owe them anithin or whut. but. it jus feels lk ive let em down. i duunoe. disappointed them. and all i noe is to cry. sucker. this feeling sux. it reali does. ive let em all down. ive been sucha disappointment.
niwaes.thanks loads tu all of you who cared. esp.tong and ira. for keepin me company. and tu ira. for even caring tu ask. and double ask. it was dhat "sure?" of yours. dhat brought mai tears back. dhat brought me back to reality. thanks so much. lurve you loads.
thanks everyone. for even caring. and for all your concern. but i doubt i'l haf dha face tu face any of eu in dhis short period of time. jus let me rot.
*im sucha pathetic freak. depression in progress*

+l0tsa lurve+
jane-