Just Dance.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

today's eye icon shall be-MY eye. it aint nithing special. but wells. toobad if youre not interested. xp

yesterday was HORRIBLE. after the many yays i had that day,yesterdae was full of boos. x( why is dat so? you may ask. plenty of reasons i can give you. =x 1st-results. i failed. horribly. the only 2 subs dat i passed were english and chinese. if i failed even these 2,im better off dead. niwaes,yea. the results. mrs lee seemed so happy we're all gonna join her class next year. hurhurs* i told meiyun. and-i forgot who. mebbe syiddiq or imran. when dhey asked me why i could still smile. i replied simply- whether im smiling or crying,ive failed. and thats a fact. i cant change it no more. thus,i choose to smile and laugh. ok-it wasnt so well phrased lars. but wells. more or less liddat lars. (: yars. dats what i told em'. or at least,dats wad i tout so at that time. =x didnt dare go into pe room. -mr teo was there. =x rest of sch turned out rather boring. dnt-hahs- fun. everyone ended up running out of the classroom. hahs- wells.not all lars. but-MOST. lols` she didnt turn up~ YAY- she accompanied me during lunch. stef was being r u d e- xp attitude sucks. training rawked. as usual. x) yiwen and szeying joined us thO- (: jolene wasnt here. she couldnt be here. game with tha guys was.aites i ges. but ges i'l hafta work on my chemistry with sokpeng. =s stress level rising AGAIN. beep. x( suckssuckssucks* XP bahhhh* tmart afterdat. me.tang.ying- saw mom's student,dat benjamin. and jianzhi,as usual. lols` home alone-they walked the other direction. his attitude sucked. and to think he was the one to teach me bout attitude. -_-" wad a bigfat joke. missed most of topmodel. but nuthinmuch. *lucky* (: comp-ed. he suckssuckssucks* XP apshit- was gettin late. packin for nextday. mom came in. scolded me for slpin late. and den..i just broke down. =x i dunno why. i simply started crying. i always thought dat anyways,i'l still have my family behind me,cheering me on. but.it just doesnt seem so. this time round. everything just collapsed. =/ this.is not a nice feeling. i may seem verymuch carefree.care-less of-most things perhaps,but it aint so. im hurt. when i need the support and im not gettin it. i feel lost. when im left on my own. i do feel upset,sickened by myself,when im being criticized about my dress sense. my sense of touch in the so-called pop songs at places like kbox.my attitude towards somethings or other. i DONT wish to ALWAYS be the EXTRA one. it not by MY will. its just dat-I am like that. i cant help it. i cant change it. please. im begging. please. just accept me for who i am. or simply- DONT invite me. on any of your outings. either dat,or just tell me to shutup,i thankyouverymuch. )': i noe dat you might be simply joking,or being straightforward with your thoughts,anyone of you. i am NOT blaming ANYONE of you. it is just dat,i AM vulnerable as well. no matter how strong i WISH to be,or it APPEARS be,i have my capacity of holding things in. I breakdown as well. there are times where I collapse as well.
today wasnt DAT nice either. cheryl wasnt here. mr.rai joined us for card games. rather cute lars. hurhurs*evon is SO correct. hurhurs* the rest of the day pretty much sucked. many didnt bring tie for assembly. think the amt. of ppl can make more den 4classes. =x shop and save with qijie,evon and juan. i love them so. ((: great fun havin them around. x) went home. he blardyhell screamed again cus i was late for piano. lk,i noe,duh- XP sucker* was round 15-20mins late for music. was-not very good lars. but wells- rained heavily. mom couldnt come pickmeup. she saed she'l drive home and ask him to come fetch me. i decided against it. borrowed umbrella from laoshi. home myself. i SO wish dat i'l fall sick. but i ges-i wont afterall aint it. -_-" thissucks*

this has been a pretty long entry. so there-

+l0tsa lurve+
jane-