Just Dance.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

i've got a feeling the photos aint gonna load. again. -_-" whatever. im not in the mood to try again and again. if thats it, then thats that. whatever. im in a foul mood now. it probably has something to do with my health, with the weather, with my sister, and most importantly, with me being in that sucky school. i really really hate it. it depresses me so much. im serious. SO much. i see people having pretty photos of them at prom, enjoying themselves, all dressed up. i see people having great memories to keep, of them with their friends at their farewell nights. even though at the school hall, still all dressed up as well. i hate this. really, really. it depresses and upsets me so much. im tearing over this, even though i think its damn dumb to do so. im not trying to get sympathy here, but really, it feels damn damn sick. sometimes i really blame myself, for not getting a good enough PSLE point for me to get into one of those better secschs around. not alot, even a mere..TKSS would have sufficed. all these years, more paticularly, these 4 years, i never, ever told ANY of those friends of mine on their first qns that i was in east spring sec. i would always insist that i was in JCYW Convent. for the very fact that i was ashamed, and.. i dunno. just not willing to show it outt, that i was in a lousy, neighbourhood school. my classmates, those reading, those from my school, think what you may. i have no intention of offending any of you, but i DO despise the school. i DO despise MYSELF. for having been in the high and mighty EM1, just to drop to a neighbourhood school, just to drop to the last class. sometimes i really wonder, that what thiamkiat had said may have made some sense. "wah, 1e1 now drop until 4e4 arh." yep. thats what he said. i may complain, to my friends, that what he said was totally inconsiderate, and unthoughtful, but there IS some sort of truth behind it isn't it. i dont know. i've always been upset about the fact.
but whatever. i think i'd better stop. before i really start crying.
this lantern festival, has not been a good one. i didnt get to light any candles, much less carry lanterns, walking around. people may say im past that age. but i swear, if i really wish to, i'll carry lanterns and walk around all the way till im 80years old.

but i guess if theres one thing im glad about, for making to this school, is that i've made a great bunch of friends. my dearest sotong pai. js. delyn. sw. meiyun. xinyi. zhaokai. evon. and many others. i guess, theres really a silver lining in every cloud. ?

jane-