Just Dance.

Friday, June 27, 2008

FUCK. amaan is coming back again. i swear, i SO DON'T want to teach him. SO badly. but uncle's been rather nice t me, i don't wanna put him in a spot either. FUCKKK!!!! i hate that stupid kid lah. now my sundays are gonna suck thanks to those blackies. 2 in a day. GODDAMMIT FUCK.

x(

very very upset,
jane.

edit

last saturday.

all this hustling and bustling around this few days, have left me really rather, breathless. i'm enjoying all this though. especially the times that i'm having with the band. but of all things, school is just getting from bad to worse, i guess. i'm trying. really. trying to fit in. or distant myself. nothing seems to be working though. i hate this shiat that im in. really. everyday i go to school, just to look forward to going home. i go to every lesson, just hoping that i can stay awake. i go through every lecture, just to wake up at the end of the lecture and listen to my classmates droon on about me falling asleep in class. I CAN'T HELP IT DAMMIT! FUCKERS. WHY DON'T YOU TRY CONTROLLING YOURSELF FROM PEEING FOR 2 FUCKING DAYS THEN?
i don't know. am i over-reacting? but this, is really getting on my nerves. really badly. being busy is good, keeping myself occupied probably is the only way out now. but i feel so tired. i feel like theres a distance formed between me and the family. i feel like im losing focus. i feel like im losing myself. but while losing myself, i seem to find this warmth and comfort in seeing all these familiar faces. its such a big irony i know, but. i kinda just need someone, something, anyone, anything, to keep me grounded now. to keep me sane. to keep me from exploding. sighhhh.

i miss those days that we used to dance to madonna. i miss those carefree days, of disturbing cockroach, just gossiping with bitch queen, talking to the inventory guys. i miss those days of falling asleep in the office with ebuddy on my computer monitor. i miss those days in school, talking to sj, bullying meiyun, bickering with zhaokai and weisheng. to some extent, i even miss those days of staying up all night, chiong-ing dnt. i miss those days when everything was so spontaneous, not having to plan so much, not having to consult my planner for everything, not having to talk to morons who don't understand the simple system of planning ahead of time. i miss those days we used to take tons of neoprints. i miss those days we could just hang out after school and do nothing else besides loiter around tampines mall.
its that bad. yes it is.

i just hope i won't collapse.

on a lighter note, tomorrow's the semis. hopefully we get in. im starting to really blend with the group, starting to love them. i don't want this to end. at least not so soon.

Official Music Video

Official Music Video (US Version)

Acoustic Version

Live, and closest to the version we're doing.

the jitters this time round are not that bad. prolly cause im so overwhelmed. i hope that we do well tomorrow. i hope that we will get through. please. we must.

love,jane-
i need my driftwood. :(

Labels: I'm. NOT. strong. enough, Jane needs money. and a lot of sleep., OBVIOUSLY FED-UP, photos