Just Dance.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

and i knew right from the start, that this should be kept as private and confidential. that only the both of us should know about it.
and there we have it, you've proven me right about my point. that this should never be, and never should have been known to a third party. that this should, and must be solely between the 2 of us.

i understand your point, friend.
but you must take a look at mine, and stand in my shoes as well. i know fully well what i'm about to risk, what i'm going to put at stake. you've only thought of the academic part, haven't you? well, i've gone on furthur and even thought about the legal parts of it.
because i know what i'm risking. because its the necessary evil. because without it, things would fall apart.

i know what you mean, friend.
but you should also feel me. feel my hunger, to move on. feel my agony, for it. feel my hyperventilating self, when i'm at it. you've seen how i've reacted. and its all because of it.
you really don't know how desperate i am, just to be rid and free of it. once and for all. again.

i thank you very much for the company, friend.
because i understand that such friendships don't come by everyday.
i think i understand how you are worried for me. i think i know how you feel i should try instead.
i think i should thank you very much for it. and i do, from the bottom of my heart.

but.
if only you can understand how i'm feeling. if only you are able to feel that kind of desperation like for water in a desert that i'm feeling. if only you know how it is to start hyperventilating at the mere mention of it.

you will know throughly, how much i need this. how badly i want this. how evil i feel deep inside, but desperate to get this over with.

i thank you again, my dear friend, from the bottom-most of my heart.
honestly.

but i think i will go ahead with it.

love,jane-
cause sometimes, life just doesn't give you a choice.
either that, or they give you a list of useless answers to choose from.

Labels: I'm. NOT. strong. enough, school is not fun