Just Dance.

Monday, July 06, 2009

and so, we didn't get in.

the awesome cast of Short & Sweet M10, play 5, Subjective.

we were close. SO. FUCKING. CLOSE. TO MAKING IT!

the moment the results were announced, my heart just dropped on the floor. like literally. and can you just IMAGINE that feeling, of being so fucking upset, and yet having to smile and cheer for the group which got in.

it was a terrible terrible feeling. everything went well. till yesterday afternoon, when mom told me that she would've voted for team 3 had she "had a chance". no, she did not say that, but it certainly felt like she voted for my team, just cause its me. all the hopes just went downhill from there. confidence began to shake. and in general, i just felt that tinge of disappointment.

but still, there was hope. there was hope in the audiences' vote.

and we lost that as well.

the 2 guys were.. to say, less affected. alex said he'd expected it. and woonyong said he didn't think the script was strong enough.

but i know, that my heart just shattered. and shirlyn was equally upset. maybe more, maybe less. i don't know. i believe jacklyn was upset, disappointed as well. and obviously, kokchang was .. disappointed as well. pardon the repetitive words. i really cannot think of any other word now, cept' for disappointment.

shirlyn reckons we were trying to drown out the sense of loss and disappointment when we were at prince of wales last night. i agree. at least i felt like i was doing that.

seeing ruzaini and gilly, telling them i'd lost, that i hadn't been able to make it to the galas, i almost started crying.

because this year, somehow it just meant so much to me.

it was my first ever chinese play. i felt like we had such a big chance. we had a good placement, we had a good cast, we had a good director, we had so many advantages! the odds were fucking towards us! and we had to lose it.

the night before, when we had supper with kok chang, we were still happily planning how we would need to change positions for the rewind cause the stage at esplanade is different. we were still looking forward to it so much. we were still happily laughing away, confidence level high up. and we were proven wrong.

i thank all those friends of my co-actors, of my director, who came to support, and had voted for us. i thank all the other audiences for voting for our play, if they did. i thank all the other actors in the other plays, for such an awesome time backstage. i thank the other directors, scriptwriters, for joining in the fun and making this such an enjoyable experience.

Short & Sweet M10 this year, was truly, Short, and Sweet.

p.s. gilly, we need to talk soon, love. give me a call whenever.

love,

jane-

this will take my mind off you. at least for a while.

Labels: i need some skittles., I'm. NOT. strong. enough, photos