Just Dance.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

OMG. you know, 朋友，我隔天就很兴奋的查看我的留言板。但一发现没有新的讯息时，我，有那么一点点的失望。当我到你的网站看到一堆华文字时，我笑了。

很不自觉的，笑了。哈哈。朋友，我以你为荣！哈哈哈。

你说的，我都了。那天，我的确是累了。但也是因为，心不在焉。我一心的只在找寻能和我庆祝的朋友，忽略了你们，我道歉。那天是我盼了多久的一天，终于，把作业交上了。可是我也知道，你们，大概也不会和我庆祝，所以一心的在找别人。但也有可能，是因为失望吧。期望越高，失望越大。本以为会有，至少，4-5个人吧。到头来，加上我，只有4个人。不要误会。我看到你们3个，也真心的，感到高兴。只是，有点遗憾吧。以前的10个人？少到变6个，到那天的4个。是有一点，可怜。

你的好意，我心领了。但，如我所说的，我行我素的作风，我仍努力保持。我如果不想让别人看到脆弱的一面，你觉得我会去跟神诉说我的一切吗？哈。我不想听，不愿意听，也不会听。我知道你可能觉得那会对我有益。但你又可否想过，那，也会成为我的一种依赖？我就是不要依赖。我不要有那种，不能没有什么的依赖。我宁可自己受苦，自己承担，承受一切，也不愿意有依赖。因为那太累了。我已经学会没有任何的期望，盼望，希望了。我知道，我知道。你会说神依然会存在，不会走开。但，我不要。我不要任何的依赖。我宁愿苦死自己，也不愿听别人对我传教，也不愿让步。

所以，就和我说了那么多次了一样，你的好意，我心领了，也感激。但，谢了，我自己，仍过得很好。

still so very proud of you typing in chinese! teehee.

i think this is so very beautiful. i'm gonna go search up pablo neruda. :D

Sonnet XVII (100 Love Sonnets, 1960), Pablo Neruda
I don’t love you as if you were the salt-rose, topazor arrow of carnations that propagate fire:

I love you as certain dark things are loved,secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom and carries hidden within itself the light of those flowers,

and thanks to your love, darkly in my body lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,

I love you simply, without problems or pride:

I love you in this way because I don’t know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you,

so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,

so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

i have orange nails now, YAY. :D days without work, indeed, so much sweeter.

sigh. if only everyday could be like this.

on a side note, miss i-still-keep-his-chest-hair, i miss you quite terribly. :( i miss hearing updates from you everyday, about mr chest-hair. i miss random ramblings coming from you. i miss hearing you exclaim whenever i talk about mr chest-hair. i miss you lah. :(

love,

jane-
“If you look inside a girl’s heart, you’d see how much she really cries. You’ll find hidden secrets, best friends and lies. But what you’ll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong when nothing is right and everything is wrong.”
—Anonymous

Labels: i need some skittles.